Pastoral Care
St. Stephen’s Church is here for us at every stage of our lives, providing pastoral care in a variety of ways.
A Vital Parish Ministry
Pastoral care at St. Stephen’s Church is a ministry carried out both by clergy and lay people. Clergy, for example, regularly call on those who wish to receive a visit during a hospitalization, following the death of a loved one, following the birth of a child, or some other circumstance. Parishioners who are ill or recovering from surgery, as well as others who need a special touch, receive visits, cards and notes, and seasonal remembrances from clergy and lay visitors, while homebound parishioners and those in the hospital can receive Communion from clergy and lay eucharistic ministers. Volunteers craft prayer shawls as tangible reminders of our care, a gesture that we hope provides peace and comfort during a difficult time.
To make sure that St. Stephen’s provides this special attention to parishioners when they need it, our staff and volunteers work closely to coordinate pastoral care. Lay pastoral care teams meet regularly to pray, receive assignments, report on their efforts, and receive training and mutual support. In addition to visits and Communion, lay pastoral team members have delivered seasonal remembrances as well as cards and other expressions of support. Pastoral care is a ministry for all of us.
Following are some examples.
St. Stephen’s clergy regularly call on those who wish to receive a visit during a hospitalization, following the death of a loved one, following the birth of a child, or some other circumstance. Simply call the parish office at 804.288.2867 to make a request for a pastoral visit for yourself or a loved one. You may also request to have Holy Communion brought to you.
If you would like to request prayer for yourself or a loved one, you may
- Ask to be placed on our parish prayer list (please obtain permission from a loved one before adding their name, since this list is accessible to the public).
- Ask the clergy to pray for you.
- Ask the Daughters of the King to pray for you. This order of women keeps all prayer requests in strictest confidence. You can read more about the Daughters here.
If you or a loved one experiences a pastoral emergency when the parish office is closed, be assured that one of our priests is always “on call.” You simply call the parish office (804.288.2867) and the recorded greeting will provide a telephone number to reach the priest on call.
The Virginia Institute of Pastoral Care (VIP Care) offers pastoral counseling at a variety of locations in the area, including in an office at St. Stephen’s. Trained counselors work with children, families, couples, and individuals. Contact them at 804.282.8332.
St. Stephen’s Church offers a wide range of resources for health and wellness, from yoga classes to recovery groups. Read more here.
St. Stephen’s Church provides meeting space for a number of 12-step and recovery groups such as AA, Al-Anon, DA, and OA. On weekdays when the parish office is closed, such as holidays, the AA group can still meet. (Please note that this is the case only for AA, not for the other recovery groups that use space at St. Stephen’s.)
For the most up-to-date information on group meetings held at St. Stephen’s Church, please see our calendar.
If you have further questions about any particular group, please consult their websites. Because these groups are anonymous, we neither publish nor provide contact information.
Occasionally St. Stephen’s clergy and others offer special groups, presentations, or series on grief and other pastoral care concerns. These offerings are announced in our regular communications, the Spirit and eSpirit.
Some people like to make decisions about hymns, readings, and other selections in advance for their own funerals and keep them on file at the church, long before they expect those plans to be needed. It can be a great comfort to family members and other loved ones to know your wishes for your service, and a comfort to you, as well. You may wish to do this with involvement by a member of our clergy, who can guide you through the process, providing suggestions for lessons and music and other concerns. St. Stephen’s Church offers a form for you to use as you consider your wishes. You may download and print this form to fill out by hand, or download this version to fill in on your computer and send to Mary Feldman in the parish office.
If you think that you may wish your mortal remains buried in the Garden of the Holy Spirit, please read more about the memorial garden, and how to reserve space, here.
Tending to temporal matters in advance is a gift to your family. Having a will and other documents such as a durable power of attorney and advanced medical directive will make your wishes clear to loved ones, relieving them of these burdens as they deal with the loss someone they love. We encourage people to consult an attorney with expertise in end of life matters.
As you make plans for the distribution of your estate, you may wish to provide ongoing support to your church. St. Stephen’s Legacy Society is a valuable resource for you as you make these plans. Read more about the Legacy Society.
Ways to Serve
If you are interested in participating in pastoral care ministries, please consider the following opportunities.
Serve as a Lay Pastoral Visitor
Volunteers form a team of lay pastoral visitors who regularly reach out to fellow parishioners identified as having pastoral needs. The visitors connect with in-person visits, phone calls, or notes, as assigned. Monthly meetings cover training, time to share pastoral experiences, and identification of needs as they arise.
Serve as a Eucharistic Visitor
Each Sunday we send visitors to share Communion with fellow parishioners who, for various reasons, cannot be in church. Eucharistic visitors discern a call to this ministry of pastoral and sacramental care and generally undergo training as chalice bearers as well as eucharistic visitors.
Knit or Sew Prayer Shawls
Prayer shawls are knitted, crocheted, or quilted for distribution to those in our parish to whom we wish to give a tangible expression of our love and prayers. Several times each year, we bless shawls in church before they are distributed. Read more about prayer shawls and lap quilts below.
Explore a Call to Healing Prayer Ministry
During the Celtic service (5:30 p.m. on Sundays), we offer healing prayer ministry for those who desire it. Volunteers serve as the healing prayer ministers. Read more about this offering below.
Prayer Shawl Ministry
The prayer shawl ministry began as a group of knitters who gathered each Wednesday evening following the Wonderful Wednesdays supper. During their time together, they knitted, talked, and prayed. While the group did not meet during the pandemic, people continued to knit or crochet at home. Once again we are offering times to gather to craft prayer shawls, though anyone is welcome to work at home and bring in their finished shawls for blessing and distribution.
We also now offer patterns and instruction for sewing lap-size quilts as another form or prayer shawls.
Several times each year, we gather up the prayer shawls and bless them in church before they are distributed to those who are ill, recuperating, shut in or who would otherwise benefit from a tangible expression of God’s love and care–and ours.
Parishioner Anne Townsend coordinates the knitters, while Brooke Davila and Bonnie Wilson coordinate the quilting group. Call the parish office or email Mary Feldman to be put in touch with them.
Healing Prayer Ministry
Jesus was known for many things in the first century. He was considered a social prophet and a rabbi. He was known as a teacher of wisdom and the leader of a new movement. And he was known far and wide as a healer. As one New Testament scholar has pointed out, “More healing stories are told about Jesus than about any other figure in the Jewish tradition” (Borg, The Heart of Christianity). Jesus also sent his disciples out to heal others, and he promised that they would do greater things than he had done. The ministries of healing prayer and anointing have been part of the Christian experience from the very beginning.
Healing Prayer at St. Stephen’s Church
As a part of our Sunday evening service, we offer the ministries of healing prayer or anointing in the side chapels, during the administration of Communion. After you have received Communion, we invite you to approach either a healing prayer minister or an anointer, if you wish. If you would like to rest for a moment in silent prayer with a minister who will lay hands on your shoulders, we invite you to approach one of the vested healing prayer ministers who will be standing next to a chair at the head of either side chapel. Alternatively, you may choose to present yourself for a briefer anointing offered by a vested anointer who will be standing at the outside wall of each chapel.
If you wish to sit for a moment with a healing prayer minister, it is often helpful if you tell the person your name and the concern for which you are asking prayer. The healing prayer minister will lay hands on you and join with you in silently opening ourselves to God and offering our prayer concern to the healing One who is with us always. This is not a ministry of magical incantations. Instead, it is simply about fellow pilgrims opening ourselves more completely to the healing love of God. Much as a group of friends once brought a paralytic to Jesus so that Jesus might heal him, so we sometimes benefit from the loving care of others who bring us more fully into the presence of God.
If you would like to receive anointing with healing oil, simply approach the anointer with open hands. In keeping with ancient tradition, he or she will anoint your forehead and hands, as an act of healing and consecrating your life anew to God. This sacramental act is briefer than the time of healing prayer, but there are over 400 instances of such anointing with fragrant oil in the Bible. When we present ourselves in this way, we are joining in a longstanding, sacred act of union with the Divine.
Healing prayer and anointing will continue after the service ends, so we welcome any who wish to remain in prayer to do so. When you leave, therefore, we invite you to leave silently, in order to maintain an atmosphere that is conducive to prayer. Whether or not you choose to present yourself for healing prayer or anointing on any given night, you can contribute to the climate of healing by offering your personal prayers. Pray for yourself, of course, and please pray that all who worship here may know the healing love of God in their lives.
Explore a Call to Serve
Those who pray with people in this way receive training and ongoing support. If you would like to explore a call to be a healing prayer minister, please be in touch with Gayle Royals, the parishioner who coordinates this ministry. We do not publish parishioners’ email addresses but you may call the parish office to be put in touch with Gayle.
Offer or Request Pastoral Care
Contact Mary Feldman to request pastoral care
or learn more about how to volunteer in this ministry.